When you keep blaming yourself for every person that does not like you back,
for every single person that refuses to give you the time of day,
for every person that doesn’t care like you do.
When you keep telling yourself that your worth is based off of the approval of the boy you’ve been crushing on,
or the girl that has been on your mind the past four months,
when you look at yourself in the mirror and you aren’t attracted to yourself,
when you need to find someone else to be attracted to you,
when everyone’s existence becomes something you need to lean on so you don’t fall,
when you realize that people aren’t walls,
they are like tables or chairs,
if you continue to lean on them, they will move,
they will fall over,
and you will go down with them.
When you start to see that you are the only person that is able to see your own beauty,
whether it’s within you or whether it’s plastered across your face,
as that smile that you can’t hold back.
You are your own wall,
you must learn how to lean on yourself.
You are strong, you are self-reliant, you are independent,
you will not let his lack of feelings for you bring you down,
it is not your fault.
You will not let her lack of commitment with you convince you that you aren’t worth it,
you are worth so much more than her rejection,
sometimes feelings don’t correspond,
sometimes love is unrequited,
and sometimes emotions or lack of them are impossible to tame.
I have found that love isn’t supposed to come easy,
it isn’t important to be constantly looking for it.
It’ll come eventually,
I haven’t found it yet,
but I am building myself.
I am my own wall,
I lean on myself,
I have others to lean on,
but I will not put my entire body weight on them,
for I know they will fall,
and I will fall with them.
& i wont be sorry for none of it
i loved you on purpose
i was open on purpose
i still crave vulnerability & close talk
& i’m not even sorry bout you bein sorry
you can carry all the guilt & grime ya wanna
just dont give it to me
fill me up so i can live
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises …
After a while you learn…
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
I really don’t give a shit anymore about you….
~ on We Heart It.